A bowl of soup in the summer,
completely lukewarm, smiles sickly up at me,
and I swish away old reflections of you:
they've grown into the bottom of my bowls
and I've spent three days in stained dishwater,
but I'm only flushing soap suds down the drain.
We crack open flat sodas, leaving our genes
unspliced, words unsaid and fights unfought,
emptiness vacuuming the air that once filled
effervescent hollows. It's all fizz and spritz
on the dry air, conversation hissing untruths and
obligations on our lonely tongues.
I stole a penny from the college change jar and
flicked the heads of every French Bourbon against
the tail of our relationship, wagging and frayed.
It's gathered dust, now, since I returned it.
I wish we'd spend our change.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Gummy, you continually astonish me, and I mean that in every possible positive way. I may be slightly useless on this point for I have no suggestions, no ability here to poke at metaphor and meaning and suggest a change in wording. I shall merely tell you that it, like most of your poetry, is lovely, and to wish you the best of luck getting some of this published - because if you don't, the literary world will be sadly missing out. ^_~
I stole a penny from the college change jar and
flicked the heads of every French Bourbon against
the tail of our relationship, wagging and frayed
*This is my favorite part I think. Very different, and very powerful meaning. I love this poem, and your title is wonderful lol.
Keep it up!
~Rieda